The Super Stuff is all over now, except for cleaning up the confetti. I think we can move on to more important concerns.
I'm speaking now of moving on from point A to point B on the American athletic landscape. Or, to be more precise, from F to B. From Football to Baseball.
I know some of you are in Football withdrawal right now. Being without football for a few months will be tough going, but you can make it. Just stay focused and have faith. If you put some of that faith into baseball, it will make everything better.
To make this transition easier, let me provide you with something I used to use in the classroom when teaching about the kind of thinking that goes into comparing one thing with another. George Carlin's famous routine about "Baseball vs. Football."
Feel better? I hope so. Forget football. Don't even think about basketball or hockey. Think baseball.
The Cubs. This is the year. I can feel it in my aging bones. The planets are aligning. The baseball gods are smiling. Okay, I'm aware that the Cubs have gone 102 years (since 1908)without winning a World Series. I'm well aware of that fact.
But I've got this feeling, see. Spring is coming. Things are beginning anew. And this is the year. The Chicago Cubs are going to win it all. I guarantee that. You heard it first, right here.
More snow is coming this week, but the Cubs (pitchers and catchers) will be in Mesa Sunday, February 13. From the Cubs' website:
Pitchers and catchers report
Feb. 13.
Full squad reports
Feb. 18.
First Spring Training game
Home vs. Athletics, Feb. 27, 1:05 p.m. MT
Opening Day
Home vs. Pirates, April 1, 1:20 p.m. CT
Heh. I'd never seen that Carlin routine before and it's GOOD.
ReplyDeleteDon't even think about basketball or hockey. Think baseball.
Sorry, Dan. It's no trouble at all to not think roundball, but nothing EXCEPT hockey will occupy my sporting mind until after the Stanley Cup is paraded down Woodward Ave in June.
The Chicago Cubs are going to win it all. I guarantee that. You heard it first, right here.
Not really. I first heard that in Harbor Beach, Michigan in 1977 when my ex-father-in-law (God rest his soul) announced it to anyone and everyone within earshot of his voice. I'm still waiting, others... such as yourself... have been waiting MUCH longer. ;-)
Buck, I used to use an audio tape of that Carlin routine in my composition classes back in the '80s (teaching comparison/contrast). I've always enjoyed it and the students liked it a lot better than me moaning on about comparison; Carlin's bit gave us something concrete to discuss and work with. As for my prediction about the Cubs, I make it every year. I hope for the best, but I expect the worst (a conservative philosophy at heart). I've got a baseball buddy who's a big Cards fan and he gets a hoot out of razzing me about the Cubs and my annual prediction. Even if they're ahead, he likes to remind me of their 1969 collapse when leading by 8 games in early August.
ReplyDeleteBaseball Dan? What I call TV to sleep by.
ReplyDeleteFrom the Rodney Dangerfield movie, "Back To School", football defined: "A cryptocaptilist metaphor for violent land acquisition"...Love dat phrase.
ReplyDeleteI feel it in my 206 bones:, the Titans will spend the next several yrs. fumblin', shootin' themselves in dee foot...my blood pressure will rise, I'll start drinkin', and eating Hostess products.
George, I'm slow to check back on some of these older posts and I missed this comment. "Violent land acquistion." That is a good phrase and it meshes with Carlin's views. I hope you're wrong about the Titans. And stay away from the Hostess products. Liquid products made of barley, corn, etc., now that's another issue.
ReplyDelete