The Cumberland Post

The Cumberland Post
My Backyard, Six Miles from the Cumberland River

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Kinda Makes You Wonder Where It'll All End

My friend Bob Bell sent me this. I'm not sure where he got it or who put it together, but it's a very funny piece that's just dripping with irony, one of my favorite "writerly" things. Irony (sorry, I'm not completely over all those years in the classroom) is the "use of words to convey a meaning which is the opposite of its literal meaning." It's pretty clear that whoever wrote this doesn't want you run out and vote Democratic. So don't do it, ya hear?

I edited this down a bit and added a little Spike Jones after the list. Like Spike says at the end of the video, where will it all end? What will the Democrats do next and how many irony-blind folks will continue to vote for them?

1.    I voted Democrat  because 
I believe oil  companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government  taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat  because
I believe the  government will do a better job of
spending the money I earn than I  would.

3. I voted Democrat because
Freedom  of     Speech is  fine   as long as nobody  is   offended by  it.

4. I voted Democrat because
I'm way too  irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to  protect me from murderers and     thieves.

5. I  voted Democrat because
I believe that people  who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps  will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted  Democrat because
I'm not concerned about  millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates  alive.

7. I voted Democrat because
I think illegal aliens  have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security  benefits.

8. I voted Democrat because
I believe that business  should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They  need     to break  even   and give the rest  away     to the government for  redistribution     as the Democrats see  fit.

9. I voted Democrat because
I believe liberal  judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks  who would never get     their agendas past the  voters.

10. I voted Democrat because
I think that it's  better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our  own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.


  1. Well, it's hard to argue with logic like that.

  2. Regarding #4, guns: I'de rather be judged by 12 then carried by 6, and when seconds count, the police are minutes away.

    We have two political parties in America: the Republican and the Socialist party. Why are the Socialists still called the Democrats? One is inept; the other dangerous.

    I reject the two. We need a constitutional conservative party.

  3. That Spike Jones piece was just TOO danged cool. I wish PBS would run more Spike Jones and less (or none) Lawrence Welk during Pledge Month or week or fortnight, whatevah it is now.